My last post about breastfeeding then I'll shut up.

I never dreamed that breastfeeding would be such an emotional rollercoaster.  I never thought that I would fight so hard to get it to work and I never thought I would be brought to my knees at the thought of stopping.  The floodgates open when I think about it.  I'm not even sure what it is exactly that is so upsetting to me.  It's not like I ever felt like it brought us closer because I know we just ARE close.  Today is the second day of not letting Harrison nurse.  They have been mildly difficult and sad but he has been easily distracted when he has tried real hard to lift my shirt so that's made it a little easier.  I think I expected him to be distraught and it would just kill me.

The timing worked out because Chris and I went away for 4 days to Quebec City and I needed to increase some medication that would dry up the milk anyway.  I was lucky it wasn't uncomfortable for me to not breastfeed for those 4 days.  I expected it to be much worse.  When we walked into Chris's parents' house to pick up the kids Harrison ran right into my arms and was demanding I go in the other room to sit on the couch by pointing madly and saying "DEE DEE DEE" (his word for basically everything that he wants but doesn't know the word for LOL).  We were able to distract him but I felt so bad :-(

I wish I had kept a list of the places we nursed or I pumped milk.  It would have been quite funny.  I remember pumping in my car during a bar mitzvah I was photographing and in a garage area of a function hall while I was photographing a wedding.  I'm drawing a blank on any other places but obviously there were way more.

I guess that's it.  The end of nursing.