4 Months old

Dear Madison and Jackson,


Every letter to you will probably start off by saying “I can’t believe you are __ months old” and this one is no different. Four months. You have both defied my strict orders to not grow. Everyone (Daddy) always says they can’t wait for you to do this or that but I am the opposite. I want you to stay exactly how you are now forever. I waited so long for this and it just feels like it’s slipping through my fingers no matter how thoughtful and aware I am of each and every day. I never take a day for granted and yet here you are four months old in what seems like a week. Your growing is going to get harder and harder for me to accept even though I am so in love with who you are now and I know I will be even more in love with you a month from now.
Our days are so fun now (not that they weren’t before). We wake up around 7 or 8 (used to be 9 or 10 so we’re working on getting that back since I don’t get to sleep until 1:30 in the morning) eat 7oz (new today). You both usually go on the activity mats in the playroom and eat your hands while talking to the hanging toys. You both like tummy time and easily roll over to your back. We have also in the last week started putting you in the exersaucer/jumper with blankets to take up space in there. Neither of you grab for things yet so basically you just look at all the colors. After 30-60 minutes of play time you both fall asleep on the mat. I have been trying to put you both in your cribs (oh yeah, Daddy decided one night while I was at work that you needed your own cribs…I wasn’t too happy about that) when I notice that you’re getting drowsy. It’s been working so far but we’re not always home at that point. Usually Jackson falls asleep first and about 30 minutes later Madison is ready for sleep but at that point Jackson is waking up. Then Jackson is up for about 30 minutes and then wants to go back to sleep but fights it and gets very cranky. Shortly after Jackson is back to sleep, Madison wakes up. I don’t get much time without an awake baby. Daddy comes home for lunch and you eat again around 1. Then the same play/sleep/wake up/sleep/wake up schedule happens again then you eat again around 5. Daddy comes home around 5:30 so I can go to work. He says you play for a bit then around 8 you both fall asleep basically for the night except that Daddy wakes you up at 11 to give you one more bottle then he swaddles you and puts you to bed. In case you’re keeping count, that’s 3 feedings for Mommy and 1 for Daddy!! And this is because of your new earlier waking time…it throws off the whole schedule for the day. This is why I started you on 7oz today to see if you will make it longer in the morning.
We go out a LOT. Pretty much every day we (I) have something to do. You both are still perfectly behaved while we are out although it’s probably because you sleep most of the time. You in your car seats are very close to impossible for me to carry at the same time anymore. We have regular car seats for you but you can’t hold your heads up perfectly yet in order for me to sit you in a grocery store carriage. Plus going from the house to the car I would most likely have to take one down to the car strap you in then leave you to go back for the other. Even though our driveway is completely private and secluded I still feel weird about it.
You both are noticing each other on a regular basis now. Today for the first time you both were looking at each other and talking to each other. Nana was holding Jackson up to Madison and you both were just staring and cooing at each other. That was to die for cute. I can’t wait to see you interact with each other more (did I just say that?).
I am the luckiest mother on the planet to have the two of you for my children.


Dear Jackson,

You are my favorite little man. You seriously melt my heart and I just love everything about you. Your face is amazingly expressive and you just always make me laugh. I can ALWAYS get you to smile (well, unless you’re miserably crying) even if it’s the most adorable half smile through your binkie. You have the most adorable pouty lip when you’re upset. I HAVE to get a picture of it someday.

A few weeks ago you slowed down considerably on your spitting up. Now it’s just a very small amount when you burp if any at all and then you leak a bit for a little while after eating. 3 weeks later now we see the effects of you keeping all your food IN your body. You are HUGE! (well, compared to what you used to be anyway). Your head and face is now bigger than Madison’s which it never was. I have a feeling Dr. C is going to be very proud of you at your checkup next Monday. I’m guessing you’ll be 13 pounds.

You now are a pro at getting your hands to your mouth and sucking on your fingers. Not your thumb though. You’ve started drooling too and blowing bubbles. You are now able to sit in your bumbo with no problem and you look too cute for words sitting up like a big boy. You still aren’t grabbing for toys with your fingers but if there is a cloth or blanket in your lap you will move it up and into your mouth.

Also a few weeks ago you noticed a toy attached to your car seat handle. We call him “the blue guy” (aren’t we original?) and he is your best friend. You smile and talk to him as much as you do to us when we’re provoking you. Sometimes after a while you get fussy and we think you’re mad because he doesn’t talk back to you. Then we make up what you’re saying…”Why won’t you talk to me? I just want to be friends!” I think at this point he’s getting old but he does still manage to get some good smiles and conversations out of you.

These are the names that I call you…my guy, baby guy, little man, beautiful boy, my love, handsome man, handsome guy, handsome boy, cranky pants, mister man.

Injuries this month…a big plastic toy fell on your forehead and you screamed bloody murder. I wanted to die! I was right there and saw it falling but couldn’t get to it in time. Your horrible cry made me sick to my stomach. You were fine 5 minutes later and took a nice long nap. I, however, took a little longer to recover. You didn’t even have a mark to show for it.


Dear Madison,

You are still such a little doll although you’re really finding your voice lately. You definitely let us know when you are unhappy but you are very easy to calm down. Also you “talk” a ton now. You will lay in your pack-n-play and go on and on all by yourself. If I even come near you with a camera to video tape it you immediately shut up. You smile a lot more now too and it’s such a sweet smile. You love to do “Super Madison” and your face just lights up. Very cute.

You are now smaller than your brother which is strange, but I suppose the way it will be from now on. I think you will weigh 11.5 – 12 pounds on Monday. You are considerably lighter than your brother.

You still aren’t grabbing for toys with your fingers but you are able to grab hold of your dress and pull it up and into your mouth much to the dismay of Daddy. He’s constantly telling you not to show your belly!

These are the names I call you…baby girl, sweet girl, my love, milk face (you are the worst eater on the planet!), beautiful girl, pretty baby.

You have never been injured but you startle very easily. For some reason the baby monitor we have sometimes completely flakes out and makes this REALLY loud interference noise and of course comes out of the blue. Today we were sitting outside waiting for Daddy to come home while Jackson was sleeping in his crib. The monitor was right next to us when it decided to make that horrible noise. You were sitting on my lap and I jumped a mile and probably made some sort of noise. You weren’t facing me and it didn’t dawn on me that you would react in any way. A few seconds later you let out this horrible scream and you cried like you did when you got your shots. It was awful! I felt so bad that you could be so scared by something.
OH! And you choke all the time! Many times I have to whack you on your back to get you to breathe again. I HATE it! All I can think of is what happens if you do it in the middle of the night and no one is there to help you…