More pregnant photos

I received the cd from the photographer that came to take pictures of me in February when I was locked up in the hospital.
This one is my favorite. I love how the word "Secure" is showing on the bed.

You can see some more here

These photographs were taken by Cassi Allred
She did this shoot for free and gave me the files so the least I can do is give her a plug here. :-)

Cassi came to my mother's antique home two days ago and took pictures of the twins. She said she will have them posted on her website in a couple weeks and I will be sure to share the link with everyone.

I reorganized my gallery a little bit. If you bookmark this
link you will be able to see the albums orgainzed by month. I just added new photos to the April album.

Visiting

A few days ago we (the three of us) went visiting. We went to visit my acupuncturist who I received treatments from for 4 months before I did my last IVF (and continued after getting pregnant). I believe her treatments had a great deal to do with my success with getting pregnant. Her name is Nina and she was extatic to meet the twins. We visited for quite a while and the twins were very well behaved.

We then went to visit Michelle who had her baby 12 days after my kids were born. Michelle was visiting us at home two days before Gianna was born! Gianna is just beautiful and looks so much like her big sister Alex. What I am about to say is in no way an insult, but she looked HUGE! But I'm sure it's more like mine look TINY. Gianna is a normal size baby...mine are peanuts. I can't believe I didn't take a picture of the three of them together, but we'll be seeing a lot of eachother so there will be many photo ops.

THEN we went to the fertility clinic to visit Renee. Luckily there weren't any patients in the waiting room, but all of the staff came out and was going nuts over them! Renee was so happy I brought them by to meet her and said we have to come by again.

Worst Mom Ever :-(

I'm the worst mother EVER!!!!! At least that's the way I feel. Nana and Papa were here visiting and I decided to try to clip the twins nails since they were sleeping in each of their arms. I got Madison's fine then I went to do Jackson's and after one clip he started screaming!! I thought he was just mad that I woke him up then I decided to look and I had clipped the tip of his finger!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I got so sick to my stomach and I had to go away. It wasn't even bleeding when I looked at it but I have never been so horrified in my life!! Chris handled it from there and I went into the kitchen and sobbed!! When I pulled myself together I came back in the living room and he was bleeding like crazy!! Chris held a cloth to it for a good 20-30 minutes and it still wouldn't stop. Finally they decided to tape a small cloth to it. After leaving that on for an hour I wanted to check it again cause it had totally bled through. It wasn't actively bleeding anymore but we changed the bandage. They're in bed now. Hopefully it doesn't bleed through again. Jackson really was a trooper the only reason he cried was when Chris was holding his hand against his will. Once the bandage was on he took his binky and went to sleep.
I feel so awful!!


I added some new pictures here
Feel free to leave comments on the images. I love to read them.

VERY first picture of the twins

At the time of the transfer last July 22nd, the Doctor showed us a picture of the two embryos he was placing into my uterus. He said that in a couple weeks if I found out I was pregnant that I could have that photo. After getting pregnant I ran away from that place so fast you could see the cloud of dust I left behind me. Not that I wasn't grateful for what they had done for me...it was just too emotional to think of all I had been through in that building.

A girl/woman I went to middle school and high school with (Renee) happens to work at the fertility clinic I spent so much time at. A few days after arriving at home with the twins I received a card in the mail from Renee congratulating us on the birth of Madison and Jackson. Enclosed in the card was the photo I had put off calling for for 8 months and quite frankly had forgotten all about. It took me by complete surprise and I cried pretty hard.

Binkies of hope

I may have told this story before but if so it was a while ago. Plus now that we have children here safe and sound, I can't help but think of it and feel like the luckiest people in the world.

Throughout our years of trying to have a baby, we never wanted to jinx ourselves by buying something for a baby. We figured if I was never able to get pregnant, that item would be a constant reminder of what we couldn't have though we wanted it so badly.

After almost three years (probably just a little over a year ago before I started my first round of IVF), I realized that was a very negative way to think and figured we could use a positive reminder of hope. We bought a package of pacifiers at CVS. It was small enough that it wasn't in the way and to be honest it got shoved in our bathroom cabinet and I forgot about it.

After 4 very disappointing months of IVF treatments and 4 months off before another treatment we finally got the news we had waited to hear for over three years. I was pregnant. A few weeks later we found out that both embryos we transferred were still there and alive. I was pregnant with two!

Probably two months after that, I remembered the binkies we had bought. I went rummaging through the bathroom cabinet to find a package of TWO binkies. I know not everyone believes this, but it was at that moment that I knew all we had been through was meant to happen exactly as it did.

Now we are blessed with two amazing, beautiful children for those two binkies of hope.