Walking and other cuteness

I wanted  to talk more about Madison walking but I had to get to work earlier.

She had started taking 1-2 steps over the weekend which was exciting enough then today I really worked with her and she was so happy to try to walk to me.  Sometimes she got overzealous and started walking toward me while I was still holding her up so when I let go she would fly forward.  The funniest thing is that every time she would fall down Jackson would laugh one of the most sincere laughs I've ever heard from him.  He was absolutely cracking me up.  I got all of that on the HD video camera which I can't share here yet so I made sure I got out my old camera so I could post her accomplishment here.  I am beaming with pride!

More news on the adorable Madison is that I taught her to give "kisses".  Now if you say "kisses" to her she will lean into you so gently with her mouth open wide.  She has this look on her face like, "I'm really not sure why you want me to do this, but OK, you asked for it."  I absolutely love her kisses.  I totally cried the first time she really did it in response to me asking for it.

She can walk!!!!!!!!!!

Madison walked a lot today.  A good 6 steps at a time.  

Cutest picture ever

Snow

Today we took the kids outside to play in the snow.   It wasn't a big hit.  They sat for a few photos then cried.  I guess next year they'll like it more.

Pictures

The other day Madison got herself caught under the bar stool.  Yes, I ran for the camera rather than helping her out.  I think it was the right choice.

Here is the first picture of Jackson, Madison and Max.  Thanks to Dave who shook his keys and successfully got the kids' attention.

My kids and me on my birthday :-)

Today Jackson fell asleep after he was done with his bottle.  He's never done that before.  It was super cute.

Thanks for the sleep advice.  Last night happened to be bad though.  One of his wake ups he wouldn't stop screaming.  He cried for a long time but he just kept getting worse and worse.  I finally went in and got him.  I brought him to the living room to try to get him back to sleep but all he wanted to do was smile and laugh at me.  It was so cute I couldn't even be mad at him.  I ended up taking him to bed with us.

It's snowing a lot here now so I didn't go into work tonight.  We've already gotten about 8 inches and more is expected.

Girls' night out tomorrow night...can't wait!!

Random things

I've been so bad at updating. I'm not really sure why. Sometimes I feel like I have so much to tell that it's overwhelming and once I sit down to write I can't remember anything I wanted to write about.

The sleep problem has been much better...mine not Jackson's. Jackson is still waking up 3 times a night cries for a minute and goes back to sleep. For a couple nights I slept with the monitor off knowing that I could still hear him if he was crying which I did but my guilt got the best of me. What if he was crying and I was sleeping so deeply that I didn't hear him? What if his leg was stuck in the slats of the crib and was in pain and I was ignoring him? What if he cried for 40 minutes and I didn't know it? But I had two nights of great sleep. So last night I turned it back on. He cried at 12:30 while Chris and I were still up and then two other times once we were asleep and it woke me up. Which is better? Me hearing him every time he cries and inturupting my sleep or me possibly sleeping through his cry? What do I do? At least I'm not getting him up anymore. I think that's a huge step in the right direction. I just can't believe that Madison doesn't wake up too.

Is it a problem that he's waking up that many times a night? Is it something I should talk to the doctor about? Maybe I should just call and see what they think.

So my sleep has been better and of course two things happened that could be the cause for that so I don't know which one is helping. Although me sleeping through the night in the past still left me feeling so tired all day long so maybe it is the new level on the cpap machine. Tomorrow will be two weeks with the new pressure. The rep that set me up was right that it would take some getting used to with such a jump in pressure. One great feature of cpap machines is the "ramp" feature. It starts out at level 5 and over a course of 45 minutes works up to the 16 so by then you're hopefully asleep and not noticing the gail force winds blowing into your nose. The first week was pretty rough. I woke up a lot and it took a while to get back to sleep because all I could focus on was how hard the air was blowing and the noise the air makes. It's fairly quiet but there is definitely still a noise that you can focus on. This machine also has a heated humifier for the air so it doesn't dry your nose out. At a level of 5 it wasn't an issue so I didn't use the humidifier but now that I'm at 16 I found out the hard way what not using the humidifier does. The second night I used the machine I forgot to fill the chamber with water. I had just filled it the night before and the thought didn't even cross my mind that the water would be gone...but it was. I woke up to a bloody nose that lasted quite a few days. I won't be making that mistake again. So as the days have gone on it's become less foreign to me and therefore gotten me to sleep more deeply. I have actually felt human for the last few days which is a nice change of pace. I'm still hoping for more improvement and I think that's very doable. I just have to get my son to stop waking me up periodically. Oh, one other odd thing is that when I wake up in the morning my stomach is full of air! I think throughout the night when I swallow I swallow a lot of air. I literally look like I'm pregnant in the morning and it's SO uncomfortable. I end up burping like a truck driver when I first get up.

Videos have been lacking since I got my new camera. It doesn't have a video feature on it like my old point and shoot. Not that I'm complaining! I'm just pointing out why. We have a fancy hd video camera but I haven't figured out how to get the video onto the computer and then into a format and size that is web friendly. Maybe I'll have Chris show me this weekend.

I believe my car is being fixed as we speak. Our mechanic said it was a four day job and he had to clear the shop out of all his other projects before he started on it. I was so fortunate that Chris's mom went away this week for school vacation and she let me borrow her brand new car!!! What a treat that was. We were able to go to the RMV yesterday so I could renew my license. What fun! I'm bummed I have to give it back even though the double stroller doesn't fit in the trunk. So looks like the kids won't be going anywhere this weekend and at least Monday and Tuesday of next week. I'm not holding my breath for it to be done.

The kids got me roses for my birthday and a card. My first birthday card from babies. It was awesome. The girls at work got a carvel ice cream cake for me. That's my favorite! I brought the babies to my dad's office today where my mom met us all for lunch.

I have a hole in my fat jeans but I have to continue wearing them cause, well, I'm fat.

How's that for random things?

11 Months

Dear Madison and Jackson,

This month has been a lot of fun with you both doing new things.  We've been spending more time at home with the cold weather although we do try to get out and walk with Stacey at the mall.  I broke the car last week so you went an entire week never leaving the house!

Madison copies everything Jackson does.  If he leaves the room she follows right behind.  When you are sitting in the high chairs if he slaps his hand on the tray she will immediately do the same.  If he scratches the tray she will do it too.  If he coughs she will cough.  If he makes his dinosaur noise she will attemtp to copy it.  She watches him intently to see what he is going to do.  She also takes absolutely everything he has.  Jackson doesn't stand a chance.

Still no words being spoken.  Just babbling baba, mama, dada.  I've started to sign "more" to you when I give you food.  You haven't copied it yet but when I do it you both get very excited because you know you're going to get something to eat.  Still no clapping or waving.

Dear Jackson.You are a very sweet and happy boy but you have started to become very rough.  You don't know your own strength.  You pull hair, grab hold of skin on our faces and try to pull it off.  This is especially bad when you do it to your sister.  She cries when you hurt her.  

You also started to grab her clothes when she's crawling and you will hold onto her and crawl with her practically on top of her.  Eventually she will lay down and you end up squishing her.  Just this morning you pinned the poor cat to the floor!  Luckily she's extremely tolerant.

You still have no teeth!!  I bet they will all come in at once.  Won't that be fun?

This past month you started waking up in middle of night screaming.  For the first few weeks I would run in to get you out of the room so you didn't wake up Maddie even though I knew I was getting you into a bad habit.  So for the last week or so I haven't gone to get you and you go back to sleep on your own and oddly enough your sister doesn't wake up.  Also for a couple weeks you decided you were not going to take a nap in your crib.  I think it was because standing was new to you so you didn't want to lay down.  I believe you're over it now.  The last week or so has been very good nap wise.

You have started some new vocalizations.  It's mostly a combination of vowel sounds.  It sounds like you're actually trying to mimic our conversations.

I have no idea how much you weigh but I would guess 20 lbs.  You wear size 6 diapers and 12-18 months clothes.  

You chew on a sippy cup rather than suck on it. You have almost no interest in food that isn't completely smooth although you love "cheerios" and I gave you a bite of my grilled cheese the other day and you loved it.   

Dear Madison,You are such a happy girl.  Your smile absolutely lights up a room.  You have 7 teeth with an 8th on the way.  

This month you started napping MUCH easier and better.  Sometimes when you wake up you don't cry right away and you'll just sit in your crib and play with a stuffed animal.

Your biggest accomplishment this 

month is standing unsupported.  You can stand for a few seconds at a time.  I really thought you'd be walking by now since you crawled at 6 months.  Not that it matters but I'm surprised.  

You can be a bully to your brother.  You take anything he has in his hands.  He has started to protest now and hang onto things and that makes you angry.  I would guess you weigh 16 lbs and you wear size 6-12 months clothes.  You are also wearing size six diapers and they're still huge on you.  You are more daring with chunky foods but still not great.  You loved grilled cheese but hated cantaloupe. 

Oh No!

I can't believe I did this.  I missed their monthly birthday!  I may not have always posted on the 17th but the photos were always taken on the 17th.  Yesterday (and the night before) the kids spent at my parents' house and I was completely unaware of the date since it was a weekend.  Not that I would have even been able to take their photos yesterday since they weren't even here but I still feel bad.  Now it's a totally dark rainy day so I'll have no good light.  :-(

more to come...

Happy Valentine's Day

The flowers that daddy bought for Madison.  Mine were red.

Maddie

I had to get some shots of Madison like the ones of Jackson the other day.

Chris's car is all set now.   He had to get a ride home from work last night because he couldn't even get it to start by jumping it.  So his mom came over and stayed with the kids so he could take me to work and attempt to jump the car again.  This time it worked.  So he left the car for me so I could get home knowing if it didn't start that all I would have to do is jump it.  I did need help getting it going but I got home fine.

This morning it wouldn't start and we don't have another car to jump it with so a friend from work left the office to help him out.  This time he went right to Sears (he was going to do that last night but the website said they closed at 6) and they gave us a replacement battery for the second time in a year!

So now we at least have one functioning car but the kids can't go anywhere since the car seats are in my car at the shop and they don't fit in the wrangler (nor do we want to drive them in the wrangler).

Try a little higher

I'm so screwed.  I know this is completely my fault which makes it hurt even more.  My engine seized.  The mechanic said it's been 12,000 miles since my last oil change.  

I'd kill for an $800 repair at this point.

She can stand!!

Long enough for me to take all these photos!  You can see in the last one the motion blur from her about to put her hands down.  It's so funny how she's doing it by accident.  She'll be standing holding onto something then take her hand away.  When she realizes she's not holding on she puts her hands down.  

In other random news, Jackson was up a lot last night so I'm pretty beat and Chris broke both of our cars this morning trying to get to work.  He got in his wrangler and the battery was dead so he went to take my grand cherokee and it died on the onramp to the highway.  He had the tow truck driver drop him off at home on the way to our mechanic.  I haven't heard anything from him yet but I'm sure it's going to cost $800...it always costs $800.  I better get moving on our taxes.  So anyway, Auntie was able to come by around 11 and jump the wrangler so Chris could get to work.  I hope it starts when he's ready to come home!

Night off

Madison and Jackson spent last night and today at Nana and Papa's house.  Chris and I went on a double date with our friends Jenna and Tim.  We got Chinese food while playing keno then went to see Meet the Spartans (very funny if you've seen 300) at a movie theater that serves food and beer (we got dessert) and you sit in old Lincoln car seats that recline.  The place is great!  We had fun as usual.  When I woke up this morning I thought it was going to be around 8 but it was 10:30!!!  Ah, sleep!

Today I spent most of the day working on Auntie's wedding invitations.  I was running into a road block with them but I finally found a way around it.

I took a bunch of photos of Jackson after his bath yesterday.  I love them all but I especially love the one on the far left.  He reminds me of how he looked when he was a newborn.  I just want to kiss his little lips.  I am so in love with that baby boy.

The other day my mom came over to watch the kids so I could go to an appointment and a photoshoot.  When she was getting ready to leave she put Maddie in her bag and said "OK, I'm ready to go."  Luckily I was paying attention.  

I got my new CPAP machine on Friday.  The first night was rough.  The pressure is so much higher and it makes weird noises.  Jackson didn't wake up that night but I still didn't get a good nights' sleep.  The machine has a humidifier that keeps the air I'm breathing in moist.  Last night (night 2 with it), I didn't check the water level.  The guy said that I would need to change the water every day but I never thought that the water would be gone.  So this morning I woke up and blew my nose and there was a lot of blood.  It's been bleeding all day!  I checked the machine and I had run out of water.  I slept better with it last night.  I think I woke up once but I still feel pretty tired today.  Hopefully tonight Jackson will sleep through and I can get some more practice with this thing.

Just a fluke

He woke up again last night

Daddy saves the day

Not only did the Jackson not wake up last night I didn't hear them until 8:45 in the morning!!

And so far today two naps without a huge struggle.

I went to see Max again today and we did an official photo shoot with him for his birth announcements.  I am LOVING my new camera.

Click on the KLG Productions blog to the right to see the photos.  Oh, ok, I'll put one here.

Jackson

Last night was the worst night with Jackson since he started sleeping through the night at 8 weeks old.

For the last 3.5 weeks now he's been waking up between 1 and 3 am. At first I was sure it was because he was stuffed up and uncomfortable from his cold. The congestion cleared up about a week and a half ago but he has continued to wake up at the same time every night. People have suggested maybe teething or ear infection but he is never cranky during the day. He's such a happy, playful boy. I would think teething or ear infection would make him miserable at times other than when he's in his crib.

Since Madison sleeps 3 feet away from him I can't just let him cry...even for a few minutes. I can't risk having TWO crying babies up with me at night. It's physically impossible to handle not to mention emotionally. (Chris attempted to take the night shift one night and told me the next day that he couldn't do it...he was a zombie at work the next day.)

So as soon as he starts to cry I have to run in to get him which I KNOW is teaching him the worst lesson ever but I just don't have any other choice. I'll usually attempt to bring him to bed with us but if he doesn't settle I have to go in the play room and sleep on the futon with him. Until last night he would fall asleep right away in my arms...until last night.

I was so excited. It was 12:30 am and I was in bed! I remember thinking how great the extra hour of sleep was going to be. Chris had given Jackson motrin before bed to see if that would get him through the night in case it was pain that was waking him up. I didn't even get a chance to fall asleep when Jackson woke up. I brought him to bed. He wouldn't settle. He kept rolling over on to his belly and trying to get up and crawl. Then he would totally collapse asleep. Then 10 seconds later he would pop awake again and cry and attempt to crawl then collapse asleep. This went on for quite a while before Chris not so nicely told me to take him to the other room.

Now in the play room I knew I could let him cry because it's far enough away from the bedrooms that it wasn't going to disturb anyone...oh right, besides me. I put him in the pack-n-play and he just immediately stood up and screamed. I tried to sleep on the futon for about 20 minutes and I couldn't take the screaming anymore. I just felt too bad for him. So I brought him to the futon with me where he continued to do the same thing he did in bed...up crying...collapse asleep. I tried holding him but that made him scream even louder.

Now it's 3 am and I decide to make him a bottle and see if that helps. I made a huge mommy no no and let him have his bottle in the pnp hoping he would fall asleep before he even finished it. No such luck. 10 minutes later I heard the air sucking through the bottle. He immediately stood up and started screaming.

I believe around 4:30 he finally fell asleep on the futon with me. 7:30 Chris and Madison were up which means Mommy and Jackson were awake too.

It was not a fun night.

Chris is giving him a late night bottle tonight to see if that avoids the initial wake up at 1 am.

Nap time has not been a picnic either. Last week Jackson re-learned how to roll over. With his new skill he refuses to stay on his back when I put him down for a nap (we went through the same thing with Madison when she learned to roll over, now she's a peach to get to sleep). I try to let him cry for about 15 minutes. When I go in to check on him and try to lay him back down, Madison is sound asleep! When I put the binky back in him mouth and lay him back down he screams even louder and immediately stands up. So I either have to lay down with him or he will sleep if I put him in the big chair we have in the living room.

Today however he was put in his crib three times and each time he did not make a peep and fell asleep immediately! I hope that wasn't a fluke and that it's the start of better sleeping for poor Jackson (and mommy).

What just happened?

Madison is stunned and poor little Jackson is inconsolable.

Photos

Last night I was brushing gums and teeth.  Jackson adores it.  He chews and chews and chews on my finger.  When I was done with him and it was Madison's turn he was not happy.  He literally climbed up me which included pulling on my hair which he's not very gentle about.  Daddy thought it would be better to take a bunch of photos rather than rescue me.

This is "Super Madison".  Chris and I were both laying on the ground with her in the air.  You can see her dresser is upside down.  I love they way the light is glowing on her hair.

Mommy playing with depth of field

"I hate you guys" a la Cartman

Madison looking like a ragamuffin in that cute green dress, fur lined boots, messy hair and a sweater that was mine when I was a baby.  I'm sure someone made it for me but I'm not sure who.  Maybe my mom knows.

I LOVE not needing to use flash on indoor shots!!

But sometimes you have to.

Our little Scotty Cameron fan.

Yesterday morning when I got M out of her crib she was clutching this duckie.  She wouldn't even let go of it to eat her bottle.

Jackson posing.

Jackson napping with Papa

Cute Madison eating an O.

I meant to mention in my post about my new camera that it was made possible by the generous cash gifts I received from my parents, Chris's Parents and grandmother.  Thank you for my Christmas present!!!

A year ago

I've been seeing a lot of "this time last year" posts and I had planned on doing one myself on the 22nd which is when I was admitted to the hospital but as usual I didn't have time. (this is the third time I've sat down to get this far)

At 26 weeks pregnant I couldn't stand or even sit at a desk chair without horrible discomfort. The only way I was comfortable was with my back completely resting against the back of a chair or couch. I had to stop working. At 27 weeks I had an ultrasound that showed Jackson not growing on track like Madison was. They told me to come back in two weeks. Right, I was just going to sit there for two weeks while one of my babies might be withering away. At 28 weeks I couldn't stand just waiting. I called and said that I wasn't sure if he was moving so they had me right in. My cervix had shortened in half in one week so off to the hospital I went. I spent the next three weeks there.


Looking back I probably should have been a LOT more scared than I was. The doctors and nurses were very calm even while explaining what it would be like to have the babies be born at 28 weeks. They kept telling me I needed to get to 32 weeks. That seemed so far away!

So I spent 3 weeks watching TV, movies, emailing, blogging, injecting myself with insulin, visiting with friends and family, talking on the phone, doing soduko puzzles, watching the coverage of Anna Nicole Smith's death, watching the city of Boston be completely brought to a halt because of a whole bunch of light up boards that were placed on bridges around the city and everyone thought they were bombs, feeling and seeing Madison and Jackson moving inside of my belly, all the while not allowed out of bed and tied to an IV pole.

The days did not go slowly for me believe it or not. There was always something to do between fasting blood sugar checks, ordering food, eating food, after meal blood sugar checks, eating snack, pre meal blood sugar check, ordering food, eating food, after meal blood sugar checks, eating snack, pre meal blood sugar check, ordering food, eating food, after meal blood sugar checks, eating snack. That was one day. Then fitting in between all of that was twice daily fetal monitoring which monitored the babies' heartbeats and my contractions. It was great to be reassured on a daily basis that the babies were well, but it was never easy to catch both babies on the little disc monitor thingies they strap to your belly. Most of the time both monitors were picking up the same baby. I would end up hooked up to it for an hour twice a day where I wasn't able to move at all.

But anyway, at 31 weeks I had been stable my whole time there so they let me go home on strict bedrest. Turns out it was a lot easier on Chris for me to be in the hospital. He had to do absolutely everything for me. I had a big basket next to the couch with essentials in it for the day...needles, insulin, blood meter, hand cream, lip balm, nail file and clippers and I'm sure a lot of other things that I thought I would need on a daily basis but went untouched. My cat was happy. She had a permanent lap to sit in all day long.

It's so unreal to me to think of how different my life is now. I still can't believe I have a baby let alone two, let alone the fact that I got pregnant at all! It all happened so fast and now my babies that I tried so hard to protect and keep in my belly for so long are a month and a half shy of their first birthday. I actually get a little nauseous when I think of it.

I am blessed.