A year ago

I've been seeing a lot of "this time last year" posts and I had planned on doing one myself on the 22nd which is when I was admitted to the hospital but as usual I didn't have time. (this is the third time I've sat down to get this far)

At 26 weeks pregnant I couldn't stand or even sit at a desk chair without horrible discomfort. The only way I was comfortable was with my back completely resting against the back of a chair or couch. I had to stop working. At 27 weeks I had an ultrasound that showed Jackson not growing on track like Madison was. They told me to come back in two weeks. Right, I was just going to sit there for two weeks while one of my babies might be withering away. At 28 weeks I couldn't stand just waiting. I called and said that I wasn't sure if he was moving so they had me right in. My cervix had shortened in half in one week so off to the hospital I went. I spent the next three weeks there.


Looking back I probably should have been a LOT more scared than I was. The doctors and nurses were very calm even while explaining what it would be like to have the babies be born at 28 weeks. They kept telling me I needed to get to 32 weeks. That seemed so far away!

So I spent 3 weeks watching TV, movies, emailing, blogging, injecting myself with insulin, visiting with friends and family, talking on the phone, doing soduko puzzles, watching the coverage of Anna Nicole Smith's death, watching the city of Boston be completely brought to a halt because of a whole bunch of light up boards that were placed on bridges around the city and everyone thought they were bombs, feeling and seeing Madison and Jackson moving inside of my belly, all the while not allowed out of bed and tied to an IV pole.

The days did not go slowly for me believe it or not. There was always something to do between fasting blood sugar checks, ordering food, eating food, after meal blood sugar checks, eating snack, pre meal blood sugar check, ordering food, eating food, after meal blood sugar checks, eating snack, pre meal blood sugar check, ordering food, eating food, after meal blood sugar checks, eating snack. That was one day. Then fitting in between all of that was twice daily fetal monitoring which monitored the babies' heartbeats and my contractions. It was great to be reassured on a daily basis that the babies were well, but it was never easy to catch both babies on the little disc monitor thingies they strap to your belly. Most of the time both monitors were picking up the same baby. I would end up hooked up to it for an hour twice a day where I wasn't able to move at all.

But anyway, at 31 weeks I had been stable my whole time there so they let me go home on strict bedrest. Turns out it was a lot easier on Chris for me to be in the hospital. He had to do absolutely everything for me. I had a big basket next to the couch with essentials in it for the day...needles, insulin, blood meter, hand cream, lip balm, nail file and clippers and I'm sure a lot of other things that I thought I would need on a daily basis but went untouched. My cat was happy. She had a permanent lap to sit in all day long.

It's so unreal to me to think of how different my life is now. I still can't believe I have a baby let alone two, let alone the fact that I got pregnant at all! It all happened so fast and now my babies that I tried so hard to protect and keep in my belly for so long are a month and a half shy of their first birthday. I actually get a little nauseous when I think of it.

I am blessed.